The Documentation of Almost Completely Official Duct Tape Elite Legality Stuff

1. The Duct Tape Elite (hereafter referred to as TDTE [although we may decide to use its full name again at a random point not yet determined]) is a nonprofit organization which collects no fees from the users and/or “club-members” nor does it raise any funds for anything unless they think its really important (like the Save a Sickly Cyborg from Träliá Fund), and besides all the aforementioned stuff we don’t make any money through this thing. TDTE hereby disclaims all claims by third parties or people we don’t like that we in any way, shape, or form have stolen currency, objects of monetary or intrinsic value, or even so much as a paperclip from its members and/or associates. No warranties are expressed or implied; whatever that means.

2. The Duct Tape Elite takes absolutely no responsibility for any person subjugated to any , insanity, permanent bodily disfigurement, serious illness, temporary bodily disfigurement, pain, discomfort or slight embarrassment do to our actions. Anyone who tries to blame us for anything that they don’t like about us (whether the claim is true or not is irrelevant) will be denounced for the horrible liars that they are and we will make sure they get nothing but coal for 42 consecutive Christmases thereafter. Anyone who doubts the claims of the last sentence should be aware that we have connections in the Christmasland Elfocracy and are completely capable of doing what we just said, and believe me you don’t want us to prove it.

3. TDTE reserves the right to censor anything we feel like censoring on our own website, delete anything we feel like deleting, whiteout anything we feel like whiteouting, and bake cookies whenever we want. Anyone who objects to this may feel free to leave the club immediately and not receive any of the cookies that the rest of us will enjoy in solitude.

4. The official policy of TDTE towards snickerers is that they are fine and dandy but should never be left unattended in the Snicker-doodle storeroom. Anyone who is and/or conspires with a Snicker-doodle thief (snickerer or otherwise) will be immediately punished through drastic means which have not yet been determined, but boy, they’ll be really bad.

5. TDTE refuses to comment on the subject of the personage called Howard Brenslic who is reportedly kept as a hostage somewhere deep in our website, but we will say this: he’s our attorney, not just a random personage, and he really likes it here.

6. Any and all and/or most and a large majority of TDTE experiments refrenced anywhere on this website should be considered only partly scientific, and we leave their validity up to the better judgement of the site’s visitors. On second thought, after considering the type of people this site probably attracts and the fullness of their so-called ‘better judgement’, we reserve the right to let you know that most of these experiments are completely falsified and we really only do them for fun, not actual scientific pursuit of any kind. If, however, we hear any of you saying that our experiments are fake, you may expect us to kill you within 48 hours; unless it’s a weekend, in which case you may expect your demise within 72 hours. We do the best we can, but everyone needs time off; so please just be grateful for our services and don’t complain about the timely fashion (or lack of it) in regard to your scheduled . Remember, patience is a virtue.

7. As a final statement The Duct Tape Elite would like to mention that anyone who believes that the preceding collection of mumbo-jumbo and legalese is serious and not a joke should be locked up in an insane asylum and never allowed to associate with any of our members again, as we hear that insanity is contagious.